Logan (2017)

Hypothetical Netflix Rating: 4 out of 5 stars

Holy fuck. This movie is really rated R. I mean, it felt like they really doubled down on the rating. Patrick Stewart dropped like twenty fucks. That’s like ten more fucks than he dropped in Green Room and he played a God damn Nazi in that movie. And the violence. The glorious violence. Hugh Jackman stabbed so many people through the face; like a whole room full of people get face stabbed. I guess I should probably talk about the plot or something before I keep ranting about the blood shed and fuck bombs.

The story starts in the year 2029. No new mutants have been born in years, the X-Men are all dead save for Wolverine and Professor X who are old men on the verge of death. Logan and Chuck are lives out the rest of their dead on the Mexican border when this little girl (Dafne Keen) is dropped in their laps. Logan reluctantly agrees to take her up to Canada after the Reavers (cyborg mercenaries) come to collect her.

One of the things that I really liked about this film was how accessible it was. The themes of the movie are plainly stated simply by showing a couple clips from the movie Shane. I also liked the violence. And the swears. At times, the swears seemed forced, like “Oh, we can say ‘fuck’? Well shit, let’s say ‘fuck’ at least once every other line.” The violence doesn’t play the same way. That’s one of those inherent things about the character that the studio never really got right. Wolverine is a guy with knives attached to his hands, he’s going to spend a good deal of time slicing body parts off. Can’t do that in a PG-13 flick. Here, the first scene sets the tone, Logan’s chops a guys hand clean off.

I guess what I really liked about this movie is how well it worked as a final Wolverine film for Hugh Jackman. We’ve seen the character mature to an old man filled with regrets, who knows he can’t change who he is to spite the fact that he indeed has. They manage to tell a broad story with limited details on what happened in the gap years of the series (The Wolverine takes place in 2013, so there’s 16 years unaccounted for). To sum it up, this movie surprised me in more ways than one which was refreshing.

Now go watch Patrick Stewart give several fucks.


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