The Battery (2012)

Hypothetical Netflix Rating: 4 out of 5 stars

I’ve seen a lot of zombie movies in my day. This is one of the better ones there. (That is until my new novel “The Night of the Freaks” available on gets a movie deal.) Seriously, this film has so much going for it, it’s unreal.

The film follows Ben (writer/director Jeremy Gardner) and Mickey (Adam Cronheim), a pair of baseball players who were on the road the summer the zombie outbreak hit. The pitcher, catcher duo (that’s why it’s called The Battery) have only baseball in common. That, and the want to survive. Both are broken people in their own ways. Ben seems to take pleasure in survival process; staying on the move, fishing, gathering supplies, and killing zombies. Mickey, on the other hand wants only normality. He misses his girlfriend to the point of sexual deviance (he jerks it to a zombie, an image that once seen, can not be unseen).

What really sets this film apart from other zombie movies is that it plays almost entirely off the personalities of these two guys and nothing else. The zombies are just the set piece for which these two can showcase who they really are: Ben the realist, Mickey the hopeless romantic. I say hopeless romantic because, aside from the whole zombie baitin’ thing, the only driving action presented in this movie comes in the way of a mysterious conversation heard over a walkie talkie. They two find out that there are other survivors out there living at what is known as “the orchard”. And there’s a girl there named Annie (Alana O’Brien) who, of course, Mickey can’t stop thinking about.

I really can’t say enough nice things about this movie. This was Jeremy Gardner’s first outing as writer/director (he’s since directed another movie, Tex Montana Will Survive!) and damn did he knock it out of the park. He raised the mirco budget of $6,000 by asking ten of his friends for $600 each. I really hope he keeps making movies, so long as he doesn’t lose touch with what made this film work.

Just trust me here people, watch this one. Totally worth your 90 minutes of life.


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